Solo Dining Confidence: From Awkward to Empowered
Solo Dining Confidence: From Awkward to Empowered
Picture this: You’re standing outside a beautiful restaurant in an unfamiliar city, stomach rumbling, but your feet feel glued to the pavement. The hostess catches your eye through the window, and you freeze. “Table for… just one?” The words stick in your throat like day-old toast.
Sound familiar? If you’re nodding, welcome to the club that absolutely no one wants to join but everyone secretly belongs to. The “I’d rather eat gas station snacks in my hotel room than face a solo dinner” society.
But here’s the thing—I’ve been dining solo since my twenties when I was travelling around the UK for work in sales, armed with nothing but a good book and the fine art of propping it against the salt-and-pepper shakers. Back then, this was well before cell phones, so mastering the delicate balance of reading while eating was basically a survival skill.
And you know what I discovered? Solo dining isn’t just something you endure—it’s one of the most delicious forms of self-care you can give yourself.
The Salt-and-Pepper Shaker Years
Let’s be honest about those early days. Throughout my twenties, I wouldn’t say I felt truly confident eating alone. I had a system —book, pen, paper, and the strategic positioning of condiments to create my little fortress of solitude. I kept my head down, ate quickly, and tried to become invisible.
But somewhere in my thirties, something shifted. Maybe it was the accumulation of all those solo meals, or maybe it was just the beautiful truth that comes with middle age: you simply run out of shits to give about what other people think.
Now? I genuinely relish my solo dining experiences. I take my time, I talk to staff, I ask about chef specials, and yes—I still bring a book because I love lengthening the process and savouring every moment. But I keep my phone in my hand bag. When I’m travelling alone, I want to really experience my meals, not scroll through someone else’s highlight reel while missing the delicious food in front of me.
The Art of the Solo Meal
Food is such an important part of cultures all over the world, and the point of traveling is to be out there experiencing it all. When you dine alone, you’re not just eating—you’re immersing yourself in the local culture in the most authentic way possible.
Here’s what I’ve learned works:
Start with the Concierge Connection
On your first night, let the concierge know you’re travelling solo and ask for restaurant recommendations and bookings for the following nights. Have them make reservations and specifically mention you’re a solo traveller who’d appreciate being looked after. This isn’t about charity—it’s about communication. When restaurants know what to expect from you, they’re prepared to make your experience special. Host love preparation - and as Travel Advisors, we’re always passing as much information on as possible, so don’t be shy.
Tip Generously from Day One
This is non-negotiable. Tip well on your first night and you’ll be remembered. The same goes for your concierge—a tip on the first night and last day creates genuine care and attention throughout your stay.
The Magic of “One Glass of Really Good Wine”
Notice I said one glass. When you’re solo travelling, staying in control is paramount, but that doesn’t mean denying yourself pleasure. Choose something special—maybe ask the sommelier for a recommendation that pairs with your meal. It’s a conversation starter and elevates the entire experience.
Where Solo Dining is Pure Magic
The research reveals some fascinating cultural insights about solo dining around the world:
Tokyo: The Solo Diner’s Paradise
Ramen in Tokyo has become synonymous with the solo dining experience, with many shops seeing up to 90% of their seats occupied by individuals. Japan has perfected the art of solo dining with restaurants with one-person seating and privacy dividers creating a comfortable experience—no awkward stares or forced small talk.
Singapore’s Hawker Centers
The design of hawker centres often uses communal seating, which creates a unique social dynamic. Research indicates that this format can foster a sense of connection without pressure to engage in conversations. Plus, a typical meal often costs less than 5 Singapore dollars—perfect for solo travellers.
Amsterdam’s Café Culture
Solo travellers can easily combine work with a leisurely breakfast, extending their stay in a comfortable and connected environment. The city’s café culture embraces solo diners as part of the daily rhythm.
Unexpected Solo Dining Gems
My research uncovered some destinations that might surprise you:
Bangkok’s Night Markets
Many of these markets, such as Jodd Fairs and Train Night Market Srinakarin, feature designated areas with food stalls geared towards single diners. The street food culture here makes eating alone completely normal.
New Orleans
One travel writer discovered that even when I dined alone in restaurants, the wait staff and others were totally open to talk, and almost everyone I met had a suggestion for me on where to go next. The city’s social culture embraces solo diners.
Seoul, South Korea
While some restaurants, especially those specialising in Korean BBQ, won’t serve solo diners, the city has adapted with many solo-friendly options and an incredibly safe environment for women.
Your Solo Dining Action Plan
Before You Go:
- Research restaurants with bar seating or chef’s counters
- Look for places known for welcoming solo diners
- Book through your hotel concierge when possible
At the Restaurant:
- Arrive early (before the dinner rush) or fashionably late if you’re a night owl
- Order mostly from the appetiser menu—this gives you variety without the commitment of a large main course
- Ask for their recommendations on what to order and find out what their favourite item on the menu is and why
- Choose your seat strategically—window seats for people-watching, bar seats for interaction - nothing in the back!
Embrace the Experience:
- Bring your laptop, a good book or a travel journal to keep yourself busy if you’re not happy just being. (and that’s ok, no shame here)
- Try getting street food for a stimulating and interactive experience - Did you know in Singapore you can level something on a table to “bags” it - even your bag, and they’ll be honest enough to leave it. Just maybe not your passport, but a packet of tissues (did I mention you’ll need your own tissues for sticky fingers! - That’s another blog post)
- Remember: most people are too busy minding their own business to worry about you
The Confidence Game-Changer
Here’s the secret: solo dining confidence isn’t about pretending you don’t care what people think. It’s about realising that what people actually think is usually “good for her.”
I see solo diners all the time now, and my reaction is always admiration. There’s something inherently powerful about a woman who takes herself out for a proper meal, who invests in her own experience, who refuses to let the absence of company deny her good food and beautiful moments. We have often asked solo diners, male and female to join us, and they often do - would you join a random couple/family? Totally up to you but don’t be surprised if you do get asked.
The truth? Most fellow diners are envious. They’re thinking about their own fears, their own desire for that kind of freedom, their own wish they could be brave enough to book that corner table for one.
Your Permission Slip
Consider this your official permission slip to:
- Take yourself out for that dinner you’ve been craving
- Order the tasting menu even though it feels “excessive” for one person
- Linger over dessert and wine without rushing
- Strike up conversations with staff and fellow diners—or not
- Travel to that food destination you’ve been dreaming about
Solo dining isn’t just about sustenance—it’s about claiming space in the world, treating yourself with the same care you’d give a cherished friend, and discovering that your own company can be absolutely delightful.
Ready to take the plunge? Start small in your hometown. Pick a restaurant you’ve wanted to try, make a reservation for one, and bring something that makes you feel comfortable—a journal, a book, or simply your curiosity about the menu.
Because here’s what I know after decades of solo meals around the world: the confidence you gain from that first solo dinner doesn’t just apply to restaurants. It applies to everything. When you can take yourself out for a beautiful meal, you can take yourself anywhere.
Want to dive deeper into building travel confidence? Download my free “Wise Woman Travel Advisory Tips” for practical strategies that will transform how you move through the world. And if solo travel is calling your name, let’s chat—I’d love to help you plan your first (or next) adventure.